Episode 2 - Introducing Bethel - 10-07-2012

Chessio and Willmerk — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 22:21:00 +0000

intro - ridiculous one from helen which we heard for the first time on air. 00:49 - We discuss Zzzquil. It's slightly boring. Silly giggling. 2:09 - I officially introduce Bethel. 2:28 - Helen was serious about our nicknames. Bethel is Magnum X, Helen is P90x, Lia is X Supreme. 2:50 - Bethel suggests adding a sound effect. Helen thinks it's best for changing topic. 3:38 - Let's talk about how we use the word ugly. 4:57 - Bethel got in trouble for calling someone dumb at beauty school. 6:04 - silence indicating we have no idea of what to talk about. 6:13 - They try talking about my dinosaur print t-shirt. Ambiguous reference to the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. 6:52 - Terror. 6:58 - We have a topic list on a clipboard and we look to it to save the show. 7:22 Everyone starts talking about "Holy Burrito." 7:30 - sidetracking argument about age 7:58 - We got back on the topic. 8:20 - "Sensei and the Holy Burrito" plot. Bethel played Sensei and Helen played Twinkletoes his disciple. 9:10 - We try to explain it better. 10:44 - They correct me and they explain the ending. etc. The reason why we never made a good video again. 12:11 - Uhhhh 12:16 - We're too old to make videos now. I refute this. We live in a great place for making videos! OPTIMISM. Rambling from me. Bad audio. 13:00 - ?? 13:29 - Bethel's Four Day Saturday Story. (Day 1 - 10:30PM Store Adventure. Day 2 - 1AM Chillin with Music and Nap. Day 3 - 7AM Gym and Vitamin D day. Day 4 - WTF IT'S STILL SATURDAY. Chill.) 15:57 - Nobody likes Papa Johns. 16:00 - Helen's Terrifying Cat Story. 17:11 - We discuss Helen's traumatic events with cats but the audio is so crappy that you can't hear it. Probably because of when I moved it. You know, that SHLKLNKTH sound? 18:17 - YELLING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH THIS ONE CAT. I should probably edit this shit out. I've learned something. 18:54 - Helen properly tells the story of the IPhone App triggered Cat Attack. If you have a cat watch out for 19:50 - :54. Also watch your ears. 20:19 - Where were Bethel and Lia during the cat attack? 20:51 - Didn't the cat follow you into the bathroom? 20:56 - We start generally discussing past cat attacks and the experiences of it e.g. uncontrollable leg shaking. 21:33 - Back to that specific iPhone-cat-attack story. Mom disinfecting Helen's foot. We have video footage. I start rambling and laughing at my own 'jokes'. 23:18 - random silence and sigh. 23:24 - Uh, did you see that picture on Myspace? This guy posted his stab wound. Internet chatter. We just keep talking about the internet. Too much meta. You can't hear us, but it's hilarious, trust. 24:32 - RIPPED! x5. Bethel does an impression of me. 25:02 - Anything else? 25:05 - Impromptu Jeopardy humming. 25:21 - Static. Meta. Too much meta. What do we talk about??? THERE'S ONLY 5 MINUTES LEFT. 25:52 - We need to change our crappy name. Dumbass suggestions. The rest of this is just us killing time. I scream. We give up on the audience. You can just leave. 26:36 - Let's just name it Bliekh. Bethel laughs because I asked how to spell it and I write B-l-e and she said B-l-h. yeah. I go on tumblr. It's really all just tedious, just stop. I just really wanted to make it 30 minutes. I'm not even gonna bother. I'm not making sense. 28:09 - More impromptu Jeopardy humming. Shoutout to Helen and Bethel's appreciation blogs of each other. I scream a couple times. 29:00 - ONE MORE MINUTE. I say two because it's a little off on my side. 29:20 - "This is the worst podcast ever" 29:29 - We have 30 seconds lets just sing. I countdown. 30:00 - They're enjoying theirselves too much. HAPPY NEW YEARS. SCREAMING. Closing from Helen.

Episode 1 - Chessio and Willmerk - 10-02-12

Chessio and Willmerk — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 03:10:56 +0000

Weirdshila opening jingle and uncomfortable greeting/disclaimer 2:03 Mundane story time - How I made Helen mad. 4:05 - Why in god's name are you making a podcast? and during which I consider making a written transcript to accompany the podcasts. 4:45 - In which a marauding Helen interrupts with her more interesting story on how to tear a friendship apart, as baby squirrels chatter in the background. 6:50 - In which for mysterious reasons the story suddenly starts making sense. 8:00 - Watch your ears. Random mundane chatter mostly about drawing tablets and nicknames referencing the picture that's this tumblr's first post. 9:42 - Resuming! The reason why I'm trying to make a podcast, and again Helen interrupts this time to show me her mangled toenail and I insult her. 11:18 - tl;dr version of Why I'm trying to make a podcast and boring story about my speech problems. 12:23 - Impromptu singing. 12:34 - Potterness, surrounded random disorganized irrelevant chatter from myself. 15:12 - Shoutout to my cousin. and random shit. 15:48 - I start crying inside. 16:30 - I start stabbing myself. 16:56 - I pray to our lord and savior. Strange alien sounds. 17:35 - Helen comes back. We discuss her horrid nickname. I remind her of her cooler name. She complains. It gets more interesting. We talk smack about our cousin. It goes downhill, I stop thinking about talking clearly and it shows. 19:30 - Helen takes the mike and the world makes sense. Then she starts ranting about an episode of the new season of Bones and how Brennan's wig/hair dye makes no sense, punctuated by the shrieks of an army of chipmunk. 21:00 - We bring attention to the microphone. Watch your ears. Random chatter. Helen tries to leave, then she gets mean. I go through my messages on my personal tumblr. 23:27 - Helen comments that I should have some sort of organized format for the next podcast, and I threaten to smear shit all over her face. Just smear it. All. Over. 23:40 - Helen's Shoutout/Commercial about some awesome pervy Youtube folk that are "the best." Shoutout to Colgate. 25:03 - We start talking about the Water Filter again. 25:21 - Helen starts laughing about how I know a certain common word. 25:40 - FUCKING TELEMARKETERS. 25:53 - SHOUTOUT TO NORFOLK, VA. Story about how Helen lost her birth certificate. Helen gets hysterical for some weird reason. Then some disorganized ranting. 27:57 - HELEN HAS NO ID. Adventure Time reference. 28:20 - story about Helen's fascinating school IDs and going to the movies with our cousin. BUTTER IS GREAT. 29:36 - Helen tells another story related to the woes of not having a birth certificate. 30:45 - I feel compelled to explain how last names work in our culture. My sister ruins everything and I'm paranoid and distracted. 32:47 - Helen explains how last names work in our culture and I apologize for living. I interrupt and you are forever lost and have learned nothing. I diss europeans. 33:46 - Helen leaves. And I cry about life and everything entropies. Sporadic jingle. I explain the name of the tumblr and everything sucks and I cannot talk out of the context of a conversation. Helen sneaks back and gets pissed off and she has an energy drink. Bickering. Random silences indicating we're drinking. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. You should just skip this entire section. 39:00 - Helen rants. 39:36 - It gets worse. I'm incoherent Grandma interrupts. I forgot that there's a pause button on this weird free software I just got. I try to be interesting. It doesn't work. Give up. GIVE UUUUP. OMG KILL ME. 41:33 - I try to talk about science. I don't know what I'm talking about and I go to Y!A. I basically flunked out of university. Look, you've heard my voice by now, so just imagine me explaining something I don't understand. This will only be interesting if you're hopped up on drugs, and even then it'll be a toss up between having a great laugh for about forty-five seconds, or a terrifying trip - please do not take the chance (I am not liable!). OR if you're a speech pathologist or something like a psychology student, then yeah, this might be interesting for you. 44:30 - Hasty ending jingle.

Bliekh Podcast

Episode 2 - Introducing Bethel - 10-07-2012

Episode 1 - Chessio and Willmerk - 10-02-12